Pure TV Network

Greeting and Salutations my fellow Fashionistas, Divas, and Fashion Victims!

Sorry for the delay in posting, but was letting everyone get caught up with the premiere episodes online Saturday morning before I went hopping all over the runway.

Thursday night brought us three and a half hours of Project Runway insanity. First with the All-Stars debacle; then the premiere itself; followed by Models of the Runway – a boring behind the scenes look at the walking coathangers that work the catwalk on the show… Yawn.

I won’t even go into the All-Stars Challenge. Suffice it to say, we’ve seen it before: Santino’s an ass; Sweet P’s an angel; Jefferey is arrogant; Cornhole is ethnic; Chris is sleepy; the fashions were expected… I was so thrilled when I heard about the ASC, but before it was over I was doing the dishes and making cookies… It was just a disappointment all around. Daniel won if anyone gives a squirt. Though I must admit I was a bit intrigued by Daniel’s homage to suicide bombers…

Thar she blows!!!

Anyway, onto the third hour of the night: the new season of Project Runway itself. Gurrl… we certainly have a cast of characters this season!!! Leave it to L.A. to bring out the more colourful contestants.

MethHeadio the Gay Meathead (aka Johnny) had a meltdown. He almost quit the show (yes, already) because he can’t hack it. Undoubtedly this is his third time trying out for the show; he didn’t make it previously because he had an “addiction problem,” which we heard about over and over again for the duration of the show. At one point, during his meltdown, he sat in the lounge, cried on a tacky pillow and had Tim stroke his ego for all the world to see. Hooker. He decided to stay on the show because someone cared, blew his nose on the aforementioned and now violated pillow, and made some butt crack (homage?) revealing red mess of a dress for the runway… Which the judges loved??? WTH? Did MethHeadio share his crack with them??? It was A WRECK. Seriously. I just went and pulled a tablecloth from my linen closet and made the EXACT same dress with four safety pins… Give me a break.

Dr. Smock (aka Mitchell) did just that: smocked for the entirety of the show – and wouldn’t shut the cluck up about it. His model then showed up and was upteen sizes bigger (a whole five inches!!!) than she should have been (must have eaten too many tictacs for breakfast), so Dr. Smock ripped the Victorian turtle neck (smocked mind you) off his fashion, draped her in cheescloth and sent her naked self down the runway…

Then we had The Girl Who Fell From Space (and Bounced) (aka Ari). She mediated with her fabic; spoke to it. And gave us half of a metallicy dress made from the walls of the padded room on the Mothership. Whackadoo Fashions from Outer Space. Maxwell Demon would have been proud. Nina, however, was not. She laid into her in true Nina style. Spacegirl was unphased though. She was pleased with her creation which I guess is all that count. Guest judge, Lindsay Lohan, however made a good point to the tune of it being great if the designer loves it, but ultimately the consumer who is to purchase it might ought to like it as well. Needless to say, Ziggy Angeldust was sent home to the waiting mothership.

And the quote of the evening from a Lonely Goat Herder (aka Gordana), who kinda reminds me of an older, butcher Uli: “If you give me a sheep, I can make you a sweater.”

The winning design, ironically enough came from the uneducated designer of the bunch (which he was quick to remind us for the entire hour), Christopher. He made a flirty little cocktail dress of what looks like crumpled bits of colourful garbage bags over a dingy little ruffled number. Woo. Maybe it’s just me, but it looks like belted, gothic astro-turf with someone’s hacked off dirty petticoat underneath… You decide:

It’s gonna be one heck of a season. Talk about making it work; because thus far, they certainly aren’t working it.

Love & Slack,