Pure TV Network

Ryan lets us know that many of the past Idol finalists  (as well as his formerly cute chubby little self) are from Atlanta.  He calls it “Hotlanta.”  Mary J. Blige is the guest judge and for some reason, the judge with the new face lift doesn’t feel like getting out of the car.  The auditions are being held on the 27th floor and the elevator ride for the contestants to audition is just like what they do during “The Chair” segment in Hollywood and no less annoying. 

First up is Dewone Robinson.  I find that the more they brag about themselves, the worse we ALL know they are going to be.  Dewone is no exception to this rule.  He sings an original composition called “Lady, we’re not together anymore.”  Just 2 notes and you know why.  It is sung in two completely opposite registers and Simon asks him if it was supposed to be a duet because he seems to be singing both parts.  Dewone blames Simon for his awful voice saying he threw him off when he asked him too many questions (such as ”What are you going to sing for us today”).  It was everyone’s fault but his own and he is sent packing.

Next up is Keia Johnson with really cute blond curly hair and neon yellow pants.  She is a former beauty pagent contestant who won Miss Congeniality.  Simon makes some remark about how it’s better to be chosen the beauty instead of the “nice personality”  but Simon can never see the inner beauty of anybody up front, and then has to eat crow later.  Of course,  she sang beautifully and she’s through to Hollywood.

I loved Jermaine Sellers right off the bat.  He takes care of his mother and is a singer in his church.  (Take notes, gals, any guy who takes care of his mother will treat his wife with dignity and love.)  He sang Joan Osborne’s  “One of Us.”  Man, I forgot how much I loved that song.   During a commercial I downloaded Joan’s version from iTunes .  He sings it GREAT with his own spin to it, Mary J loves it and he gets the golden ticket.

Vanessa Wolfe is very poor, from Tennessee and likes to dive off bridges.  She will do great during Country Week, but she has to live long enough to get there.  I have a feeling Hollywood week will eat this poor darlin’ alive.  (BTW, anyone know what “Cow Tipping” is?)

They humiliated the toothless guy who almost died 3 times.  The BFF “Ditsy Chicks” cried a lot cuz one made it and the other didn’t.  Holly, the human guitar, is the new Kelly Pickler.  She must never have watched the previous 8 seasons or she would have known how much Simon hates when people dress stupidly for auditions.  But WOW what a voice!!  She knocked me off my chair.  Golden ticket.

I’m only going to mention 3 more that cannot be overlooked.  Skii Bo Ski, the king of rhetoric, can sing but I’d never vote for him because I do NOT want to listen to his drivel all the way to May.  Angry Lamar screamed his song, promised to take constructive criticism, got angry when Mary told him to exhalt himself, wouldn’t stop screaming-I mean “singing”, and cursed his way all the way out down the elevator and into the street.

Closing the show was 62 year old General Larry Pratt singing “Pants on the Ground, Lookin’ Like A Fool.”  Everyone loved him, so did I.  Anyone else out there love him too?  The song was great.

All in all, it was a good show, Mary J. was a great judge, and check in with me next week for the Chicago auditions.