BCS declares Germany winner

So i found this article on the deseret news website. I found it to be truly entertaining, and hope you get a good laugh from it. Somebody deserves some credit for it, but like they said in the article, the author is unknown. Here it is just in case the link doesn’t work:


After determining the Big-12 championship game participants the BCS computers were put to work on other major contests and today the BCS declared Germany to be the winner of World War II.

“Germany put together an incredible number of victories beginning with the annexation of Austria and the Sudetenland and continuing on into conference play with defeats of Poland, France, Norway, Sweden, Denmark,Belgium and the Netherlands. Their only losses came against the US and Russia; however considering their entire body of work–including an incredibly tough Strength of Schedule–our computers deemed them worthy of the #1 ranking.”

Questioned about the #4 ranking of the United States the BCS commissioner stated “The US only had two major victories–Japan and Germany. The computer models, unlike humans, aren’t influenced by head-to-head contests–they consider each contest to be only a single, equally-weighted event.”

German Chancellor Adolph Hitler said “Yes, we lost to the US; but we defeated #2 ranked France in only 6 weeks.” Herr Hitler has been criticized for seeking dramatic victories to earn ‘style points’ to enhance Germany’s rankings. Hitler protested “Our contest with Poland was in doubt until the final day and the conditions in Norway were incredibly challenging and demanded the application of additional

The French ranking has also come under scrutiny. The BCS commented “France had a single loss against Germany and following a preseason #1 ranking they only fell to #2.”

Japan was ranked #3 with victories including Manchuria, Borneo and the Philippines.

December 10, 2008 I Written By

The BCS mess

As much as I want to rant again about how much the BCS sucks and that I want a playoff, I will simply leave it alone, for now.

The debate at this point is who deserves to go to the national title game. The short version: Texas and Oklahoma, but we all know that won’t happen. Realistically I would have to say it will end up being Oklahoma and Florida, but I don’t think it should be.

Lets just go through the tope few teams and plead their case.

Alabama: Their only loss came to Florida, who was ranked number two at the time, though I don’t think they deserved that ranking. As much as I would like to say Alabama deserves a shot, they don’t. They didn’t deserve to be number one either. There are multiple one loss teams that are far better and deserve the shot.

Florida: Their one loss came to an unranked Ole Miss team, AT HOME. There is simply no excuse for that, and you do not deserve a shot at the national championship if you can’t even defend your home turf against a much lesser opponent.

USC: Much along the same lines as Florida, they lost to an unranked team. While it was not at home, it was pathetic. If you want to be a national championship contender you can’t have an off week. While their loss was not as bad as Florida’s, they play in a weaker conference and don’t deserve it.

Boise St: They play in the WAC, need I say more?

Utah: Coming from just down the street, I have to give them some credit. While I would not be opposed to them playing in the national championship, I don’t feel they deserve it this year even though they are undefeated. They simply are not as good as a few other teams. Could they win? Sure, anyone can win on any given day, but I don’t think they deserve a shot.

Texas Tech: YOu have to give them some love for what they accomplished this year, and like Utah, I would not be opposed to it, but I don’t think they deserve it. When you get beat that bad, you don’t deserve a shot.

Oklahoma: Their one loss came on a neutral field to their biggest rival, and it was a great game. There was very little separating them, and it could have gone either way. They are playing some of the best period we have seen all year, and they deserve a shot.

Texas: This one to me is a no brainer. Their one loss came against a good Tech team in Lubbock. If that game is played in Austin we aren’t having this discussion because Texas is in the big game. Nonetheless they lost, but it is not enough to knock them out as I see it. They too are playing some great ball, and are the victims of unfortunate scheduling. They finished with a weaker schedule than Oklahoma and thus got robbed of their spot in the Big-12 Championship because of a stupid tie breaker rule. They definitely deserve a shot.

The BCS can say that this conflict is good for the sport and creates interest, but it really just leaves people unsatisfied and provides no closure. It only generates more ifs, ands, and buts, however this is the system in place and we must deal with it until they see the light and fix it.

December 6, 2008 I Written By

Where’s the common sense?

So I hate to sound repetitve in my dislike of the ranking system, but this week was just another kicker for me. I didn’t think Texas had to get the number one ranking, but it is acceptable. I also thinking Oklahoma only dropping a little is understandable because they got beat by the now number one team in the country. LSU deserved to drop as far as they did because they got totally beat down. And while Missouri dropped a little farther than I may have expected, it was not totally crazy. There are however two aspects of the polls that didn’t sit well with me.

First of all, the obvious one: how on earth can ANYONE still vote for Notre Dame as a top 25 team. While they did not make it in they did receive votes. Is someone paying those voters or something. I have the utmost respect for the history and tradition of the school, but let’s be honest, right now they suck. They barely beat a pathetic Michigan team that handed them the game. They squeaked past a San Diego State team that is not exactly exceptional, and Purdue and Stanford are not exactly at the top of their conferences. I love the movie Rudy as much or more than the next guy, but some people need to get a grip on reality.

The other unsettling ranking was how far Oklahome State jumped. They are having a great year, and won a huge game against a highly ranked opponent, but most people will agree Missouri is not playing as good as they did last year. A nine spot jump is just a little insane after one game. Lets just hope that when the visit Austin and other Big 12 towns they get beat and drop back down to a more realistic ranking.

October 12, 2008 I Written By


What an enjoyable game to watch. Living in Austin people have been talking about it for more than a week now. It was on the news, in the newspapers, and the topic of everyone’s discussion, and the game didn’t dissapoint. I also enjoyed the camera shot which showed the red and orange line right down the middle of the stadium, quite a sight to see.

I was thoroughly impressed with Oklahoma’s efficiency on offense, but then I think they got a little lazy. Their defense was also phenomenal. They were so quick it was like watching a group of little leaguers going after the post game snack. Colt McCoy was honestly lucky to get off as many passes as he did.

Being a passive UT fan I have to admire their persistance. They really did not play that great of a game, but they played well enough to hang around, and then when the opprtuntity came they struck. Oklahoma was the better team, but UT definately played the better game.

People can argue all day about who should have won, or how different it would have been if this or that happened, but the reality is that Texas beat their rival, the number one team in the country, and should be rewarded accordingly. I don’t neccessarily think that means a number one ranking, though all of the results for this weekend are not in yet, but they have to get at least a few votes, and a little consideration.

October 11, 2008 I Written By

What good are rankings?

This year more than any before has led me to wonder what good rankings are? I think most would agree that preseason rankings are pretty much crap because you never know how teams will do with the players they lost, injuries in fall camp, etc. Even the first week or two are a little sketchy because most schools are playing weak teams to try and get off on the right foot.

But really how useful are rankings the rest of the season. A prime example is Kirk Herbstreit’s rankings. He said on national TV that Fresno State was a better team and had the best chance of “busting” into a BCS bowl game than any other non-BCS school. Yet he ranked BYU higher in his AP poll ballot. Call me crazy but if a team is “better” shouldn’t they be ranked higher?

You also have the mess at the end of the season last year with teams losing and moving up in the rankings. Shouldn’t an increase in rank be the result of a good performance on the field. For the most part I think the coaches poll is a little more accurate because they are the ones on the field seeing these teams play, and no one understands their team, and their opponents, better than a good coach. But even their ballots are biased.

I don’t know if there really is a better solution because no human can be completely objective, and no computer can factor in all of the different facets of how good a team really is. But history has shown that the system is flawed. The NCAA has done a good job with the basketball tournament, for the most part. So why is it that they refuse to do something about football? Aren’t they the ones that are supposed to be running college football, not the heads of six of the eleven conferences?

I realize a 64 team tournament is out of the question, but until there is a playoff system of some sort there will never be a legitimate national champion in college football. Unfortunately, people at the NCAA are in bed with too many “college sports lobbyists” to make an objective decision and do what is right for the sport, not just their wallets.

September 15, 2008 I Written By